Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
