His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
