These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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