Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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