it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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