before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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