yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
