my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
