i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
