Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
