He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize