only if we run a train.
done.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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