When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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