Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
