I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
