God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
