I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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