TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
