great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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