I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
