So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
