Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
