No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
