i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
