im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
