i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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