i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
