you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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