y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
