Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
