I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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