when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
