i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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