me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize