i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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