just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
