I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
