Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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