I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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