He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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