no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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