How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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