I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
