maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
