You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
