I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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