He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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