just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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