brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
