its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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