Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
