I wannas sexs uuuuu
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone came in the potted fern
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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