How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
God, I missed his penis.
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