i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
