areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
