Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i now understand why vodka
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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