I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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